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College at Home, for
the Glory of God
by John Thompson
As habitual as birds heading south for the winter, a new brood of students
takes wing each fall to college campuses around the world. Clearly, this
seasonal migration is healthful for birds. But is the flocking of students
to college campuses likewise wholesome? Is this recurrent pilgrimage the
result of careful reasoning or cultural influences? Before sending our children
to flight, our family decided to more thoroughly investigate the campus
charisma.
This was two years ago. Zoie, our oldest of three daughters and an aspiring
student of music, was beginning her last year of high school. Ten years
of home education had raised (and answered) the many well-worn questions
about curriculum types, learning styles, father's involvement, relating
to the State, relating to the church, preference vs. conviction, peer-group
problems and various others. But now we faced a whole batch of new questions:
(1) What precisely is God's purpose for our children's higher education?
(2) Does a father's home-education responsibility extend to fully preparing
his children for adulthood, marriage and establishing a new household?
(3) What specific disciplines (in academics, fine arts, life skills and
spiritual development) are necessary for "entering adulthood?"
(4) How are these disciplines different for young women vs. young men?
(5) What role does a young person's God-given gifts, talents and interests
play?
(6) How might these disciplines be developed during the post-high school
years? (home business, apprenticeship, trade/technical school, college programsunder
what circumstances?) And most importantly,
(7) How do our home-schooling convictions apply to post-high school training?
At some point in our home-schooling adventure, we fathers must deal honestly
and faithfully with these seven crucial questions. Otherwise, we will fail
to complete (or may even seriously undermine) the child training
that God has entrusted to us, resulting in spiritually aborted children.
Sadly, I had seen this happen to home-schooled students across the country,
graduating from high school and then just floundering at a menial job or
being sent away to a compromising setting (usually college). The fruit of
hard parental labor was devoured by the locust of humanistic values, never
to yield a truly bountiful harvest for the Lord.
Determined that our children would not become just another statistic
of spiritual mediocrity, our family set about the task of resolving the
hard questions that now confronted us. Here is "our story." It
may not answer all your questions, but is intended at least to introduce
you to a model for post-secondary education that we hope you will, like
the noble-minded Bereans, "examine by the Scriptures to see whether
these things are so" (Acts 17:11).
During her last year of high school, Zoie and I spent much time together
in study and discussion about her future education, deliberating over these
seven determinative questions. Since "the fear of the Lord is the beginning
of knowledge," our investigation from start to finish was guided by
the principles of God's Word. We knew that if God's revealed will in Scripture
were compromised, His glory through her life would ultimately be diminished.
No education program was worth that! Hence, we agreed that any option requiring
conformity to the world rather than to Christ simply was not His will. Thus,
our journey had begun on solid footing with a common commitment to God's
truth.
God's Purpose for Our Children's Higher
Education
Our course would largely be charted by the answer to our first and most
pivotal question, What precisely is God's purpose for our children's higher
education? Or, to broach the issue a little more generally, what is man's
ultimate purpose according to the Bible? Surely it is NOT simply to improve
himself ("be all that you can be") nor even to serve mankind ("do
good works"), though these are unquestionably proper byproducts. Rather,
man's ultimate purpose is to bring glory to God in all that we do
(1 Cor. 10:31).
Shouldn't the schooling of our children, therefore, have this goal as
its principal test? Certainly! What, then, glorifies God in educating our
children? Scripturally, it is when their education prepares them to achieve
their God-ordained responsibilities in this world, which are (in order of
priority):
(1) to be properly related to God through salvation and spiritual growth
(Matt. 6:33; 22:37);
(2) to be accomplished and devoted in their role responsibilities as a husband/father
or wife/mother (Eph. 5:22-25; Gen. 2:18; Tit. 2:4; 1 Tim. 2:15);
(3) to be a dedicated, active member of a local body of believers (Eph.
4:12; Gal. 6:10); and
(4) to bring dominion over the creation (not independently but with their
mate) by developing their God-given abilities (Gen. 1:28).
These four life functions define our responsibilities to God, family,
church and world. Anything which detracts from glorifying God through these
four general responsibilities can have no place in our children's education.
Anything? Yes, that is the plain meaning of 1 Cor. 10:31: "Whatever
(anything) you do, do all to the glory of God." Immediately we could
see that anything secular in Zoie's future education would need to be very
carefully scrutinized. Secular education by definition does not intend to
relate our children properly to God or help them to grow into the image
of Christ. Instead, its stated aim is to glorify man through evolution,
self-authority, situation ethics and "global citizenship." Even
worse, it is often purposely designed to destroy our children's faith in
God.
Unfortunately, however, even most Christian education today works at
cross-purposes with God's blueprint for our children. By training young
men and women for self-satisfying careers that are independent of their
mates or families, Christian schools (though perhaps unintentionally) mimic
the world's disdain for the values of marriage, fatherhood and motherhood.
Something is desperately wrong when a young person can graduate from a Christian
collegeeven a Bible collegeand view their role as a husband/father
or wife/ mother as secondary to some self-pleasing profession, whereas God
places those esteemed roles second only to our walk with Him.
Already it appeared to us that Zoie's higher education would not follow
any traditional path. But, then, home schoolers should be accustomed to
pioneering new trails. That is simply our calling as "aliens and strangers"
in a foreign land (1 Pet. 2:11).
The Extent of a Father's Educational Responsibility
But who was I to direct my daughter's higher education? After all, she
was of age now, wasn't she? At age 18 wasn't she automatically an "adult"
and responsible to make her own educational decisions? These were the kinds
of questions leveled at us by well-meaning family members and educational
acquaintances, Christian and non-Christian alike. They echoed the anti-family,
individualistic philosophy of humanism that has infected even the church
today.
Thus, our family embarked upon answering our second decisive question,
Does a father's home-education responsibility extend to fully preparing
his children for adulthood, marriage and establishing a new household? Here,
really, was a question of the breadth and depth of our home schooling. To
what extent in age and subject matter is a father responsible for his children's
education?
It may come as a surpriseeven to some home-schooling parentsto
think that the father has much of a role at all in the education of his
children. Isn't Dad just the "provider and protector" of the home,
leaving Mom to school the kids while he slugs it out in the workplace? This
common picture is fatally flawed! Indeed, every (yes, EVERY) child-training
command in Scripture is directed NOT to mothers but to fathers (e.g., Ps.
78:1-8; Eph. 6:4). The mother's role is to assist (not replace) the father
as his God-appointed helper (Gen. 2:18). Dads are personally responsible
before God not merely to oversee their children's education but also to
participate in their training through daily hands-on involvement. Thus,
the Bible throughout pictures the father himself frequently with his children,
teaching them both formally and informally (Deut. 6:1-9; 2 Ki. 4:17-18;
Prov. 1-9). And, much more than just daily devotions, the content of the
father's instruction, according to Psalm 78:1-8, encompasses both God's
Word and God's worksincluding math, science, language arts, history
and all other subjects of God's creation. When the father is legitimately
unavailable due to other Scriptural responsibilities, the Bible pictures
the mother as his primary assistant for the child-education task (Prov.
1:8; 6:20; 31:1). And when truly necessary, the father may delegate some
(not all) instruction to a private tutor who will stand in loco parentis
(in place of the parent) by imparting the father's biblical values and submitting
to the father's will (1 Chron. 27:32).
Now, if a stranger were to peer into your window and conclude that the
mother is the primary child trainer and the father is her helper,
then something is drastically wrong in your home. That is NOT the biblical
norm. Regrettably, America's home-schooling movement is led almost entirely
by women, both in the homes and in the local and state organizations. This
is God's rebuke to the men in our generation for their sinful withdrawal
from leadership, much as was the case in Israel when Deborah was judge (cf.
Jud. 4; Isa. 3:12). It is time for home-schooling fathers to repent of their
halfhearted efforts and truly turn their hearts back to their children (Luke
1:17), "that they should put their confidence in God, and not forget
the works of God, but keep His commandments, and not be like their fathers,
a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation that did not prepare
its heart, and whose spirit was not faithful to God" (Ps. 78:7-8).
Plainly, then, a father has the foremost role in home schooling. But,
as we asked before, to what extent in age and subject matter is he responsible
to teach his children? The extent of "school" is commonly considered
to be kindergarten through high school and the subject matter to be "academics"
plus a smattering of fine arts. Yet isn't the scope of a father's duty to
train his children from birth until adulthood in all disciplines necessary
for maturity? The Greek (secular) model of child education, as it is practiced
in our modern culture and has influenced us all, wrongly assumes
that a father's training of his children is completed when they reach age
18 and complete certain high school academic requirements. He then "graduates"
his children from high school and sends them out of the family home to a
college or job. They are released from parental oversight, often to godless
supervisors and circumstances, with little further opportunity for spiritual
or practical discipleship by the father.
The Hebrew (biblical) model of child education considers our children
to be "youth" from age 13 until about age 20 (a norm, not a legalistic
framework), and charges the father with a much broader scope of child training
until the youth is fully prepared for adulthood, marriage and establishing
a new household. Indeed, that was the scope of the Torah (the Law of Moses),
the Hebrew father's primary curriculum for child training. It was a veritable
"manual for life" to which every facet of life was related. Not
only did the Torah teach one about his relationship to God, but also his
relationship to his neighbor, family, spouse, community, government, enemies
and, indeed, all of society as well as the physical creation. Being not
only revelatory of God but also regulatory of the nation,
the Torah guided the whole life of the Jew: his house, dress, food, employment,
domestic arrangements, distribution of property, politics, and civil and
religious life.
How much more extensive and expansive the biblical vision of child training
is! And Jewish fathers (Old Testament believers) assumed this broad responsibility
enthusiastically. Indeed, they considered it an honor; and everything else
gave way to this most important part of their lives. Modern home-schooling
dads must restore the biblical "depth and breadth" of their educational
responsibility.
Disciplines Necessary for Release to Adulthood
If traditional "high school graduation" is not the biblical
measure of maturity, then what specific disciplines are necessary for a
young person's release? What subject matter will fully prepare our
children for adulthood, marriage and establishing a new household?
This third of our seven vital questions led not only our family but also
our whole church toward a new completion point for home schooling which
we call Life Graduation. After fulfilling her high school requirements,
Zoie enjoyed a family-centered celebration similar to a birthday party and
received a high school diploma primarily as a "passport" into
college level studies. But her sights were now upon a much more comprehensive
targetthe full range of disciplines necessary for adult maturity,
which seem to fall into four basic categories: academics, fine arts, life
skills and spiritual maturity.
Academics, rather than being an end in itself, is to be pursued for the
purpose of understanding God's creation and undergirding training
in the other three fundamental categories. Fine arts enable our children
to appreciate the beauty of God's creation whereas life skills (applied
arts) equip them to exercise the utility of God's creation. Both
aspects of God's creationits beauty as well as its utilitycomprise
God's "dominion mandate" (Gen. 1:28) which we fathers are obliged
to train our children to fulfill. Finally, our children's spiritual maturity
purposes to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
Life Graduation signifies that a young man or young woman is entering
full adulthood and, though no partner may yet be in waiting, is sufficiently
prepared for the covenant of marriage and the establishing of a new household
(Gen. 2:24). This is the climax toward which all child training since birth
should be culminating. Thisnot some secular substituteis the
focus of our educational vision. And, since the whole local church is involved
in equipping parents (Eph. 4:12), this is the event for which the entire
assembly should joyfully gather to honor the new graduate and to give praise
together to God! This now became our family's new destination for our educational
journey. We looked forward to the day our daughters' would attain the noble
goal of being a "Proverbs 31 Woman."
Education of Young Women vs. Young Men
As our family wondered how to arrive at that new destination we were
prompted to address the fourth essential question, How is the education
of young women different from that of young men? Even to pose such a question
in our egalitarian, post-Christian culture, is to invite ridicule and ostracism
by the educational establishment where traditional male and female distinctions
are despised. Yet, if the God-ordained role of a woman is different from
that of a man, then it follows that her preparation for that role will be
different, at least in its content and perhaps in its instructional location
as well.
Already we had concluded from our first question that God is glorified
in our children's schooling only when it prepares them to achieve
their four God-ordained responsibilities (God, family, church and world).
But does God distinguish those life functions by gender? And, if
so, how? Clearly, there is no gender distinction in our first responsibility
of being properly related to God through salvation and spiritual growth.
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man,
there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus"
(Gal. 3:28).
But in each of the other three life functions, God plainly differentiates
the woman's role from the man's. A young man's education, therefore, must
prepare him (in this order of priority) to be a selfless husband and father,
a servant-leader in the local church, and a ruler over the social and physical
spheres of God's creation in a way that involves his wife as his assistant.
However, a young woman's training must equip her (again, in this order of
priority) to be a devoted wife and mother, a servant-contributor in the
local church, and a helper to her husband in bringing dominion over God's
creationthat is, assisting her husband rather than having a separate
ministry or occupation.
Precisely how do these gender-specific life functions influence the content
of our children's education, and perhaps their instructional location, too?
Since God gave us a family of all girls, the young woman's training was
our foremost concern. In examining the four disciplines necessary for adult
maturity, we saw only minor gender-related differences in the teaching of
academics or fine arts to our children. Yes, since academics comprise the
support structure for the other three disciplines, there would be some small
variation for young women. Still, a woman must have sufficient academic
ability to aid her husband in schooling their children to the point of full
adulthood. And whereas "keeping house" (1 Tim. 5:14) is part of
the woman's role, her training in fine arts may include some applications
different from that of a young man (such as flower arranging, stenciling,
interior decoration). Nevertheless, the study of fine arts itself (music,
art, literature, architecture, landscaping, etc.) is definitely as important
for young men as it is for young women if we are equally to appreciate the
beauty of God's creation as He intends.
It was in the other two disciplinesthe life skills and spiritual
developmentthat we found substantial, gender-related differences which
would affect the content of our daughters' education. Since the role of
ninety-nine percent of young women is to be a devoted wife and mother (i.e.,
not remain single, Gen. 1:28), her training in life skills must prepare
her to be a capable helper to her husband, trainer of her children and caretaker
of her home (Gen. 2:18; Prov. 1:8; Tit. 2:5). Such skills would certainly
include all that is involved in the spheres of cooking, sewing, home care,
child care, health care, animal care, gardening, and domestic finances.
Further, if a young woman's spiritual role is to be a servant-contributor,
the content of her training must equip her to be a submissive helper in
the home as well as in the assembly, freeing up the men to exercise their
God-appointed leadership (1 Tim. 2:8-15). Training of this sort might include
a major ministry to mothers in the church (on Sundays and weekdays too)
as well as helping with the church nursery, fellowship meals, home Bible
study hostess, music ministry, hospitality, family evangelism, missions
helper, visitation of shut-ins, etc.all under parental supervision,
of course.
In summary, a young woman's training should be modeled after the examples
of Sarah, Mary and the virtuous wife of Proverbs 31, whose lives centered
around their husband, children and homeworking (cf. 1 Tim. 2:15). A Christian
woman's God-ordained "career" is not just in her homeit
is her home (i.e., her husband and her children)!
Where is this training to occur? At some distant school, camp
or other educational setting? Decidedly not! The fundamental tenet that
distinguishes Christian home education from Christian school
education is our belief that the parents are a child's God-appointed teachers
(Ps. 78:1-8; Prov. 6:20) and that the family home (and its environs) is
the God-ordained classroom"when you sit in your house and when
you walk by the way" (Deut. 6:7; 1 Cor. 15:33).
Then when do older children finally leave the family home? For
young women, it seems, the Scriptural time for departure is at marriage,
and not before (1 Cor. 7:36-38). Because God created the woman to be the
"weaker vessel" (more vulnerable, 1 Pet. 3:7; 1 Tim. 2:14), He
intends for her never to be out from under the protective covering of either
a father or a husband (1 Sam. 30:18). She is to abide in the protective
shadow of her father (Ps. 36:7) until she moves into the shadow of her husband
(S.of S. 2:3). This is the clear implication of Numbers 30 which sets forth
only three Scriptural marital states for women: a single woman in her father's
house (normally in her youth), a married woman in her husband's house, and
a divorced or widowed woman who is under the direct protection of God (Ps.
68:5) and the care of church elders (1 Tim. 5:3ff). There is no biblical
marital status (and no normative Scriptural example) of a single woman who
leaves her father's home for reasons other than marriage. Obviously, such
a conclusion from Scripture had a significant impact on where we would train
our daughters and where they would reside before marriage.
What about the education of a young man? How is the content and location
of his education unique to his gender? Since the vast majority of young
men are intended by God first and foremost to become selfless husbands and
fathers, his training in life skills must prepare him to be a bold but loving
leader in his home, a skillful discipler of his children and an adequate
provider for his household. To be fully prepared for adulthood, marriage
and establishing a new household, a young man must demonstrate Christlike
character, sufficient knowledge to teach his children, and stable employment
(preferably a home business) that will support a family (Prov. 24:27; 1
Tim. 5:8). In addition to "income producing skills," he
ought also to have "income preserving skills" such as home
building (carpentry, electrical, plumbing, painting, masonry), landscaping
and lawn care, auto mechanics, vegetable gardening, animal care, business
administration and computer skills. And since a young man's spiritual role
is to be a servant-leader, his training must involve leadership in worship
(1 Cor. 14:26), prayer (1 Tim. 2:8), doctrine (1 Cor. 14:35), self-sacrifice
(Eph. 5:25), decision making (1 Tim. 2:12) and justice, mercy and humility
(Mic. 6:8)in the home as well as in the assembly. His father should
disciple him in Bible teaching, counseling, public prayer, family evangelism,
political issues, organization skills and much more.
Now if the purpose of all education is to equip us to achieve our God-ordained
responsibilities in the world, then what kind of occupation provides a young
man the framework for attaining these life functions? To put the question
another way, Where does a young man's career fit into his four God-ordained
responsibilities? Is his career equivalent to "bringing dominion over
the creation"? And what should guide his career choice?
Contrary to most Christians' lifestyles today, the Scriptures do not
view work (i.e., career, job, occupation) as a priority in and of itself
but rather as a means and medium for achieving a man's biblical priorities
(life functions). For example, a particular occupation may strengthen his
walk with God, provide sufficient income for his family and church, leave
enough time (or, ideally, provide the framework) to nurture his family and
minister to others, and allow opportunity to govern a particular sphere
of God's creation. But a different occupation might tear down his
spiritual life, supply meager funds for family and church, leave inadequate
time for family nurturing or ministry, and grant little occasion to "subdue
and rule" over some area of God's creation.
So, you see, a man's work is not a priority at all, but instead, is a
help or a hindrance in achieving his biblical priorities. A father ought
therefore to choose a vocation for his son that best enables him to carry
out his life functions. Though a man's work should develop and utilize his
God-given talents, it should be inclusive, not independent, of his family
(Gen. 2:18). Home-schooling families normally recognize the importance of
the wife being family-centered; but it's just as biblical for the father
to be family-centered, not career-centered. This is why a home business
is generally a young man's best choice for his occupation. When compared
to working for an employer outside the home, a family-centered home business
normally gives a man much greater freedom to meet his God-ordered priorities
(rather than the boss's priorities). For this reason, the Apostle Paul urged
the Corinthian believers in regard to employment, "if you are able
indeed to become free, rather do that" (1 Cor. 7:21). That is, pursue
an occupation that gives you the greatest freedom to achieve your God-ordained
priorities.
Where is a young man's occupational training to take place? Although
a young woman's schooling is to occur entirely under the safeguard of her
father (generally in the vicinity of the family home), a young man's training
location is a wisdom decision (by the father) based on many factors. Though
he is to remain under his father's authority until being released
to adulthood (Life Graduation), he may not necessarily remain under his
father's direct oversight for all of his occupational training. In
Bible times, a son normally learned the trade of his father (or at least
a vocation his father could teach him), just as Jesus learned carpentry
from his step-father Joseph and Paul tentmaking from his father. However,
it was not uncommon for a young man to be apprenticed in a different trade
under a trusted employer. Although young men do not have the same physical
and spiritual vulnerabilities as young women, still Solomon warned his son
of the risk of bad company, particularly the adulteress and the harlot (Prov.
1-9).
So, it seems that the biblical norm (and thus what will most often be
wise) is for a young man to complete his life preparation in the family
home and under the direct oversight of his father. Even if a father has
not yet developed his own home business, perhaps he can help his son start
a home business and "learn by doing." Nevertheless, when a son
is to learn an occupation unfamiliar to his father, he may be apprenticed
(by an individual or school) under certain conditions.
To reach a wise decision concerning apprenticeship, a father must ask
a number of important questions. In regard to the son, is he physically
and spiritually mature enough for release from parental oversight? Has the
son proven himself faithful in small things so that release will not be
beyond his moral maturity? Is the father's spiritual discipleship of his
son completed, leaving deep-rooted spiritual habits that will not be compromised
under trial? In regard to the circumstances, is the son's release detrimental
to the household (perhaps he is still needed at home)? Does the father know
personally and sufficiently the work environment as well as the persons
responsible for his son? Are there serious moral or physical risks? How
long is the son being released (days only, overnight, weeks, monthsthe
longer the release, the greater the risk)? How far away is the son being
released? Is it close enough to know what's going on and to intervene if
necessary? In regard to the opportunity as a whole, is this the option that
best fits God's principles? Has the father sought the counsel of his elders?
The answers to these and similar questions will enable a father to make
a wise decision regarding apprenticeship for his son.
After Life Graduation, a young man has the biblical liberty either to
establish his own "household of one" or to remain a contributing
member of his father's house. We see examples in Scripture both ways, though
the latter may have been the norm since a Hebrew father's responsibilities
included "instructing his son in the law, teaching him a trade and
bringing him into wedlock." Consequently, Isaac remained in his father's
household until he was 40 years old when Abraham got him a wife. The words
"For this cause (marriage) a man shall leave his father and his mother..."
(Gen. 2:24) speak certainly not of the only cause, but perhaps the primary
cause of a mans leaving his parental home.
Role of God-Given Gifts, Talents, Interests
If our four God-ordained life functions are to guide our educational
choices, then what role does a young person's God-given gifts, talents and
interests play? That was our fifth crucial question. Hasn't God given these
gifts to be developed and used for His glory? Indeed, yes, for Paul charged
Timothy to "kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you..."
(2 Tim. 1:6). But practically speaking, most of us have several gifts, talents
and interests, each of which may be developed in a dozen different directions.
So, a choice must be made about which talent to develop in which direction;
and that choice must be in accord with biblical principles, not in violation
of those principles.
In practice, then, a father's career choice for his son (yes, it is ultimately
the father's decision) must be guided by the larger needs of the family,
by what would best enable his son to accomplish his life functions, and
by the biblically legitimate training options available. If Scriptural principles
would be compromised, then a different talent or a different direction should
be chosen for a vocation. Though the world literally defines a man by his
occupation, biblically a man's faithfulness to God is far more critical
to his success in life. Consequently, we find the most pivotal men in historyChrist
and His apostlesin such simple vocations as carpenters, tentmakers
and fishermen. And despite Gods supernaturally calling certain persons
in the Bible to specific tasks, the idea that God "calls" each
Christian to a particular "life work" finds no support in Scripture
(see Decision Making and the Will of God, by Garry Friesen.)
Likewise, a father's higher education of his daughter (as is my case)
should fit the overall goals of the family, qualify her to carry out her
life functions, and avoid all compromising education options. Instead of
preparing for a worldly career distinct from her husband's, a young woman
should have one primary application in view in developing her gifts, talents
and interests, namely, that of becoming a capable wife and mother. And the
father must then find for her a husband to whom her talents correspondwhat
Genesis 2:18 calls "a corresponding helper," one who completes
him in all of life as the two become one flesh.
Secondarily, her higher education ought to equip her to be a contributing
member of her father's household until she marries and, in the event of
an untimely death of her husband, a self-supporting widow from within the
home. This last eventuality may never be needed, for most widows would be
cared for by her husband's estate, her children or the local church (1 Tim.
5:3-16). But there are cases historically and biblically (e.g., Lydia, Acts
16:14) where women have needed to support themselves. And she would be prepared
to do so if she had skills for a business within the home (Tit. 2:5).
Some fathers may think we have too narrowly understood a young woman's
education and work. It is not within the scope of this article to argue
that point further, but only to refer you to the forthcoming book by Douglas
Phillips entitled "God Calls Men To Be Providers" (first published
as a series in Quit You Like Men). Other dads may have cautions in
the opposite direction, that higher education for a woman leads to pride,
discontent, self-sufficiency, worldly temptation and easy divorce. These
are legitimate concerns. But couldn't the same be said of men? A stable
marriage is founded not upon a man or a woman's education level but upon
an understanding of their biblical roles and their commitment to God. In
fact, a strong case could be made that a marriage is more stable
when a woman's higher education qualifies her to help her husband more ably.
Isn't a woman just as responsible as a man to develop and use (within biblical
parameters) her God-given talents to help her husband bring dominion over
the creation (Gen. 1:28; Matt. 25:14-30). Douglas Wilson writes in Credenda-Agenda,
"A neo-Amish sisterhood is starting to develop in some quarters of
the conservative Christian community
[which] disparages the intellectual
capacities of women." Instead, we should view the intellectual capacity
of a woman, blended with godly character, as a valued capability to aid
her husband and educate her sons who will stand with their father in the
gate, contending together with their enemies (Ps. 127:5).
In view of our studies to this point, our family concluded that not only
Zoie but also her two younger sisters (Cara and Kesed) would pursue gender-specific
life skills and spiritual development in keeping with their unique role
as women. And in the realms of academics and fine arts, they would develop
their talents in music (piano, flute, violin and voice) in hopes of serving
a husband who would enjoy and need those abilities in his life and ministry.
The critical question now facing us was, How? How to advance their musical
talents to full proficiency within the environment of the family home and
under the watchful oversight of their father?
Post-Secondary Educational Options
Zoie and I could now see the finish line before us as we asked the next
critical question, How are the adult disciplines best developed during the
post-high school years? As we researched this issue, the educational options
fell into four categories. A young person's talents and disciplines could
be honed through home business, apprenticeship, trade/technical schools
or college programs. After a thorough study of what each option offered
in the field of music, Zoie and I concluded that some sort of nontraditional
("at home") college program (supplemented with home business,
apprenticeship and technical training) would best equip her to use her musical
gift for serving her future family and church. Thus, we began to probe that
option through much reading, many phone calls, personal interviews and visits
to college campuses. What we learned was both shocking and inspiring.
We were dismayed to discover that many students today flock to college
because they have little vision for what else to do with their life. With
few exceptions, the remaining students go to college for one of three reasons:
(1) to get an education, (2) to get a degree or (3) to "party"
(that is, to socialize with peers). Regrettably, the first reason is no
longer the foremost reason for an increasing number of these students.
That is why many dedicated teachers have become disheartened; and more than
a few serious-minded students have sought alternative approaches for their
higher education. Here is where our investigation became deeply encouraging.
Before the mid-1970s, a student seeking a nontraditional, "off-campus"
college education had exactly two choices: the University of London and
the University of South Africa. Since then, however, there has been a virtual
explosion of college-level correspondence courses, guided independent study
and accredited "external degree programs." In fact, we learned
that more than 400 accredited colleges in the United States now offer "nontraditional"
degree programs; and over 100 such schools grant fully accredited bachelor's,
master's and/or doctor's degrees entirely, or almost entirely, through non-residential
study, which are well recognized in the academic, professional and business
communities. Included in those numbers are more than 20 Christian liberal
arts and Bible colleges that offer many educational programs from a distinctively
Christian world view.
As Zoie and I poured over various college guides and course catalogs,
we began to see how all of the "general education" requirements
(English, history, math, science, etc.) for a Bachelor's degree in music
(or any other major) could be acquired through accredited correspondence
courses from various Christian colleges. And the "hands on" music
requirements of keyboard, voice and ear training could be obtained through
"portfolio credit" with carefully chosen (and supervised) local
instructors and apprenticeship programs. The remaining music credits in
music history, theory and composition were found to be available from a
music institute (a technical school) with no humanistic ax to grind. This
became the course of college study that our family chose for five major
reasons (which apply to young men as well as young women). Any one of
these reasons could easily be expanded to many pagesin fact, there
are whole books written on several of these issues. But to preserve your
patience, let me try to be concise.
If the primary purpose of college is educational, then something
is amiss in the classroom. Simply put, research has shown that, for most
subjects, tutorial instruction and guided independent study give superior
results over classroom teaching. For example, in one study correspondence
students consistently outperformed their classroom counterparts by more
than ten percentage points on the final exam. The non-classroom approach
is also more flexible, allowing the student to use books, audio, video,
and computer networks to study at his own pace (intensively, if he chooses),
in his own home, according to his preferred schedule, even while traveling.
With such flexibility, our goal is that each of our children complete their
bachelor's degree in three years or less (and a master's degree, too, if
needed), yet without sacrificing our moral, family or financial integrity.
Yes, such a course of study demands greater self-discipline and personal
scheduling; but, in our judgment, it better prepares the student to be a
self-starter, leader and entrepreneur in later life.
A second rationale for favoring an off-campus education is moral.
What conditions best enable my post-high school children to continue the
pursuit of godliness as they complete their education? Although we do not
seek to live in a vacuum, we believe it both wise and biblical to guard
against negative influences upon our lives (this is insulation, not isolation).
The average residential college thrusts very impressionable youths under
the persuasion of typically liberal professors and libertine students. Confused
minds and compromised morals are nearly guaranteed! But by cautiously selecting
our tutors and courses, we can maintain, to a very high degree, an education
from a Christian world view. And by choosing off-campus studies, we avoid
the immoral peer influence which pervades the typical college campus, even
to the point of serious physical and moral harm. What should we expect when
youth with raging hormones are told they are nothing but evolved animals?
Crime statistics reveal that the average college campus is now more dangerous
than New York's Central Park! How much wiser, we think, to study under the
care and protection of godly parents.
The third convincing reason for selecting non-residential study is family.
Frankly, we enjoy one another's company in our family; we delight in each
other's educational experiences. That is why we have pursued home business
and home schooling for the past 11 years. Moreover, since the parents' task
involves preparing their children to be well-educated, self-supporting,
highly capable mates and parents-to-be, we believe the parents' role has
seldom been completed when their children reach age 17 or 18. In short,
we have more parenting to do; and we do not believe it either wise or biblical
to delegate this responsibility to an alma mater (literally, a "foster
mother"). In a personal letter, Phil Lancaster of Patriarch
magazine concurs: "Family is not just a launching pad for independent
individuals, it is the context in which every person is meant to live out
their earthly existence. We must get over this mindset that children grow
up and 'leave the nest' (prior to marriage)."
I don't wish to be mundane, but our fourth motive for adopting an external
degree program is financial. Economically, an off-campus education
is simply better stewardship of our limited resources. Whereas a four-year
degree will average about $80,000 at a private university and $40,000 at
a state school, it will run less than $20,000 at homeeven as little
as $12,000 for some programs (including correspondence courses, tutoring
charges and even room & board payment to parents). Furthermore, the
student can usually earn more at home through a more flexible work/study
schedule. In our case, our children earn profit sharing through our family
bakery business as well as conduct their own music studio (which also provides
field experience for their course work). Admittedly, the above comparison
does not take into account the fact that scholarship aid is much more readily
available to on-campus students. However, since most of such aid comes from
tax dollars or inflated tuition fees (all taken without the giver's consent),
we prefer to pay our own way (or seek truly philanthropic aid) rather than
fleece our neighbor or encourage socialism.
Applying Our Home-School Convictions to
Post-High School Training
The fifth, final and foremost cause for our deciding on college at home
is spiritual. The first four reasonseducational flexibility,
healthy moral development, closer family relationships and better financial
stewardshipcould be asserted as well by a non-Christian. Make no mistake,
they are significant reasons; but at best they make college at home a wise
decision, a preferred choice. It is the fifth cause, the spiritual
reason, that, for our family, moves this decision from preference to convictionthat
is, something required of us by God. This seventh and final question was
the very heartbeat of our research, namely, How do our home-school convictions
apply to post-high school training? Other sincere Christians may not assess
this issue quite as we do, and we do not make this a test of fellowship
with them. But see if this makes sense to you.
Our family had already come to the conviction that God's purpose for
our children's higher education was to bring glory to Himself by training
them in their four God-ordained life functions (relationship to God, family,
church and world) until they are fully prepared for adulthood, marriage
and establishing a new household. We were also convicted that a God-pleasing
education for our daughters must be very gender-specific (focused upon becoming
a wife, mother and homeworker) and must occur entirely under the loving
oversight of their father. If we had sons, we concluded, their education
also would be very gender-specific (husband, father and family-centered
vocation) and would occur under their father's oversight or in a morally
safe environment.
Now, the critical issue is this: Does a traditional, residential college
education bring glory to God? To answer that question, let's test the on-campus
approach by the three components of a God-honoring education: the content,
the teacher and the instructional setting. First, the content of
a God-honoring education must be truth (Ps. 25:10; 119:163), more specifically,
truth which prepares our children to accomplish their gender-specific, God-ordained
functions in the world. Since a secular education leaves God out, it cannot
adhere to a Christian world view and will consequently misunderstand, misinterpret
and misapply knowledge (Jn. 17:17, Col. 2:3). Even the best Christian colleges
today, though teaching basic Christian content, have adopted secular goals
for their students, encouraging both young men and young women to be career-centered
rather than family-centered, preparing women to be like men, and through
women professors, displaying wrong role models for our daughters. Is that
the target toward which you are aiming your young arrows? Does a traditional,
residential college education (even a Christian college) pass the test of
content?
Second, the teachers of a God-honoring education must be, for
the most part, the parents (Deut. 6:1-9; Ps. 78:1-8; Prov. 6:20). This is
so because all teaching conveys values; the student will not merely
think like his teacher, he will become like his teacher (Luke
6:40; Jer. 10:2). Consequently, God instructs the father (with his wife
as helper) to be the primary teacher of his children. This is simply a proper
emulation of our Heavenly Father's relationship to His own Son: "...
the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the
Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also
does in like manner. For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all
things that He Himself is doing" (Jn. 5:19-20). A Scriptural view
of education (Father-Son, parent-child, shepherd-saint, etc.) is predicated
upon an essential, irreplaceable heart-bond of love, "turning the hearts
of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their
fathers" (Mal. 4:6; Lk. 1:17). Biblical teaching is not the sterile
transfer of ideas from one brain to another, but rather a discipleship relationship.
Do we love our children enough to remain their primary teachers (disciplers)
until they are fully prepared for adulthood, marriage and establishing a
new household?
At the college level, parents may be greatly aided in this responsibility
by correspondence courses, preferably from Christian colleges (just as textbooks
are utilized in the earlier years). Yet, when a parent is genuinely unable
to teach a particular subject or skill, he may delegate that particular
task to a tutor who will instill the father's biblical values and submit
to the father's will. Parents teaching their own children until marriage
was the norm for Scripturally obedient parents in Bible times; any biblical
examples to the contrary were the exceptions, not the rule. Even the exceptions
were trusted friends, not unknown faculty (even Christian) who will not
faithfully uphold your values. Does a traditional, residential college education
pass the test of the teacher?
Third, the instructional setting of a God-honoring education must
normally be the Christian home and family. We parents are often pridefully
self-deceived in thinking our children (and ourselves) to be spiritually
invulnerable to tempting circumstances. That is why the Apostle Paul begins
his warning in 1 Cor. 15:33 with the words, "Do not be deceived..."
(because we are likely to be self-deceived). His warning then follows,
"Bad company corrupts good character" (see also Prov. 13:20; Jer.
10:2; 1 Cor. 14:20). Young men and women should not be molded by the sinful
and destructive values, attitudes, philosophies, vocabularies, behaviors
and lifestyles of their peers. Nor by the "politically correct"
teaching of secular (and sometimes Christian) professors. Yet that is precisely
what occurs in the typical college classroom and on the typical college
campus (yes, even Christian campuses I was there!). The age-segregated,
co-ed classroom by its very structure promotes wrong male/female relationships
and women learning to compete with men (rather than becoming helpers). By
way of contrast, the Christian home remains a warm, nurturing, protective
environment where studious young men and women can grow "wise in what
is good [yet remain] innocent in what is evil" (Rom. 16:19b). Does
a traditional, residential college education pass the test of the instructional
setting?
Pass or fail? How does the traditional (including Christian) college
measure up in God's grade book? Does it bring Him glory in its content,
teachers and classrooms? Our family has concluded that, if we were to choose
an on-campus education for our children (even if we had sons), we could
not adequately oversee the subject matter, the tutors or the social/moral
environment. In our view, we would be abdicating our responsibility as parents.
To ask us to choose the traditional college program for our children would
be the moral equivalent of asking a Jew to eat pork. It would compromise
our convictions. We could not do it and be true to our God. Yes, that sounds
rather narrow in today's culture. The world urges us to give our children
a "broad" education, but God says "broad is the way that
leads to destruction" (Matt. 7:13). Instead, Proverbs 22:6 says to
narrow (the literal meaning of "train up") a child in the
way he should gokeep him within the biblical parameters which God
has set up for his moral and physical protection.
In discussing this topic with several esteemed Christian brothers, a
few additional concerns were raised by them. For example, What young man
or woman newly off to college has not experienced the deep pangs of loneliness?
Is this not a trap for falling into immorality which marriage obviously
avoids: "For this causemarriagea man shall leave his father
and his mother and shall cleave to his wife..." (Gen. 2:24)? Is not
the modern college environment a clear violation of God's principle to "make
no provision for the flesh in regard to its desires" (Rom. 13:14)?
College has become the principle context for choosing a life occupation
and a life partner. Shouldn't godly parents be directing both of these critical
decisions? And what about the problem of an "unequal yoke" in
the spiritual training of our children (2 Cor. 6:14ff)? Is this not a forbidden
alliance with known enemies of truth and godliness? It seems that nearly
every element of the college experience is a violation of some biblical
principle!
Your Own Application
That is our conviction, developed from personal study of the Bible
because God wants us to walk by conviction, not by convenience, seeking
first His kingdom and His righteousness (Matt. 6:33), not being lukewarm
about this matter or any other (Rev. 3:16). What is your conviction
from the Bible on this crucial matter? What is God's life goal for your
children? Is it for them to glorify God (1) by being properly related to
Him through salvation and spiritual growth, (2) by becoming accomplished
and devoted in their role responsibilities as a husband/father or wife/mother,
(3) by being a dedicated, active member of a local body of believers and
(4) by bringing dominion over the creation (with their mate) by developing
their God-given abilities? Are humanistic courses, liberal professors and
immoral classmates God's means to God's goal for your children? (As described
above, even Christian colleges have similar problems.) The question is NOT
should we ever study secular materials (then even reading the newspaper
would be immoral). The question is WHERE, WHEN and HOW shall we maintain
truth and purity without compromise in an ongoing program of self-education.
The answer is, in my judgment, seldom in the college classroom.
Your reply may be, "But my son is spiritually mature, readily able
to discern truth from error, and strong enough to resist temptation from
peers." Jonathan Lindvall in his lecture on "Homeschooling College"
observes that liberal professors (as well as homosexuals, abortionists,
feminists, environmentalists, evolutionists, humanists, cults, Satan worshipers,
etc.) ply their trade on college campuses expressly because they know just
how impressionable the students are. Because God designed our children to
still be moldable at this age, many Christian students have lost their faith
(and morality) on the college campus. Is it possible that you might be over
estimating your child's maturity?
However, if your appraisal is truly accurate, and not just parental
pride (ask your church elders); and if there is no safer, wiser option
for developing his God-given abilities (there generally are several
talents to choose from for a life occupation, not just one); and if
in your conscience you are not compromising any biblical principle; then
perhaps a college classroom would be a legitimate alternativemaybe.
Still, there are several options to prayerfully consider which I list below
from poorest choice to poor choice:
(1) Attending secular college, living on campus. (Clearly the worst possible
choice.)
(2) Attending Christian college, living on campus. (Sadly, not much better.)
(3) Attending secular college, living at home (or possibly with a trusted
Christian adult).
(4) Attending Christian college, living at home (or possibly with a trusted
Christian adult).
I hesitate even to list the above choices, believing they are nearly
always poor choices, just some worse than others. They are all fraught
with moral risk that may lead to disaster. If "college at home"
will not achieve your occupational goal, why not just choose a different
occupation? After all, a Christian's occupation is not an end in itself
but simply a means and medium for achieving his biblical priorities.
Do these principles and concerns apply to releasing our children to situations
other than college, such as apprenticeships, jobs or ministries away
from home. Of course, they doperhaps even more so! First, test each
training opportunity by the above tests: (1) Does it teach truthful content
which prepares our children for their gender-specific, God-ordained functions
in the world? (2) Do its teachers supplant what the parents should
be doing, or fail to uphold parental values? (3) Is its social/moral
environment "bad company" or promoting wrong relationships? Even
then, don't be too quick to give approval. In order to make a wise decision,
you must have an adequate understanding of both your child as well as the
new circumstances. Has your child developed deeply-rooted spiritual habits?
Does he seek the company of those who are wise, not foolish peers? Do you
know personally and sufficiently the environment and the persons responsible
for your child? Have you received positive recommendations from other trusted
Christians familiar with the circumstances? How long and how far away is
your child being released? Have you investigated all of God's principles
related to this release? Have you sought counsel from your elders?
One regretful parent writes: "What we thought was a fine college
ruined our daughter. A course in religion destroyed her faith in the Bible,
a course in philosophy destroyed her faith in God, a course in psychology
destroyed her faith in her parents, a course in biology destroyed her faith
in the divine creation, and a course in political science destroyed her
faith in the American way of life." It may be natural for some birds
(and students) to migrate, but not so for all of them. Those who find it
"natural" are pursuing what stimulates their nature. Christians,
however, have a new, redeemed nature which is not properly stimulated by
the compromised values of the college campus (even the Christian
college campus). Thus, these birds of a feather should flock together in
the nurturing family that God gave themat least until one of the brood
builds a new nest with her mate.
Often Christian parents recognize the college option to be a compromise,
but they see no other choice for training their sons and daughters. They
understand what to "put off" but not what to "put on"
in its place. Consequently, I am developing a step-by-step booklet to supplement
this article. In it I will take you through the process of evaluating your
children's life goals, choosing a vocation that best enables them to accomplish
their God-ordered priorities, deciding what sort of training is necessary
for their chosen vocation (home business, apprenticeship, trade/technical
courses, college by correspondence, etc.), and how to find that training
without compromising your convictions. [NOTE: Patriarch Toolbox will carry
this booklet when it becomes available.] In essence, I have simply documented
our own family's journey along the same path. And the training we found
available has been wonderfully encouraging. That encouragement is contagiousplease
let us share it with you!
In closing, let me admit that this article is incomplete (I haven't yet
dealt with the "hard cases") and imperfect (no man is without
error). Trailblazing cuts a rather rough road initially just to get a pathway
through new terrain. Consequently, the path that we are traveling will need
more smoothing by others. So we welcome your kindly input just as Priscilla
and Aquila "explained to Apollos the way of God more accurately"
(Acts 18:26).
John Thompson is the director of Family Shepherd Ministries and a
Bible teacher at Walpole Christian Assembly in Walpole, New Hampshire. John
welcomes your comments and contacts. His address is 651-B Valley Road, Walpole,
NH 03608. Email: JohnThompson@consultant.com. Phone: 603-445-5474.
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