Discussion On What Is Marriage

Two brothers: Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.
 
Marriage clerk: Names?
 
Two brothers: Tim and Jim Jones.
 
Marriage clerk: Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance.
 
Two brothers: Yes, we’re brothers.
 
Marriage clerk: Brothers? You can’t get married.
 
Two brothers: Why not? Aren’t you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?
 
Marriage clerk: Yes, thousands. But we haven’t had any siblings. That’s incest!
 
Two brothers: Incest? No, we are not gay.
 
Marriage clerk: Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?
 
Two brothers: For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don’t have any other prospects.
 
Marriage clerk: But we’re issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who’ve been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman.
 
Two brothers: Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim. And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?
 
Marriage clerk: All right, all right. I’ll give you your license… Next.
 
Four Bisexual perverts: Hi. We are here to get married.
 
Marriage clerk: Names?
 
Four Bisexual perverts: John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and Isabella Rodan.
 
Marriage clerk: Who wants to marry whom?
 
Four Bisexual perverts: We all want to marry each other.
 
Marriage clerk: But there are four of you!
 
Four Bisexual perverts: That’s right. You see, we’re all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and Isabella, Isabella loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves Isabella and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.”
 
Marriage clerk: But we’ve only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.
 
Four Bisexual perverts: So you’re discriminating against bisexuals!
 
Marriage clerk: No, it’s just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it’s just for couples.
 
Four Bisexual perverts: Since when are you standing on tradition?
 
Marriage clerk: Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.
 
Four Bisexual perverts: Who says? There’s no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!
 
Marriage clerk: All right, all right… Next.
 
Dual-personality kook: Hello, I’d like a marriage license.
 
Marriage clerk: In what names?
 
Dual-personality kook: David Deets.
 
Marriage clerk: And the other man?
 
Dual-personality kook: That’s all. I want to marry myself.
 
Marriage clerk: Marry yourself? What do you mean?
 
Dual-personality kook: Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return.
 
Marriage clerk: That does it!? I quit! You people are making a mockery of marriage!
 
“Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!”  [Isaiah 5:20]