Charles Spurgeon’s View Of The Bible’s Antichrist

 
“It is the bounden duty of every Christian to pray against Antichrist, and as to what Antichrist is no sane man ought to raise a question. If it be not the popery in the Church of Rome there is nothing in the world that can be called by that name. If there were to be issued a hue and cry for Antichrist, we should certainly take up this church on suspicion, and it would certainly not be let loose again, for it so exactly answers the description.”

 

“Popery is contrary to Christ’s Gospel, and is the Antichrist, and we ought to pray against it. It should be the daily prayer of every believer that Antichrist might be hurled like a millstone into the flood and for Christ, because it wounds Christ, because it robs Christ of His glory, because it puts sacramental efficacy in the place of His atonement, and lifts a piece of bread into the place of the Saviour, and a few drops of water into the place of the Holy Ghost, and puts a mere fallible man like ourselves up as the vicar of Christ on earth; if we pray against it, because it is against Him, we shall love the persons though we hate their errors: we shall love their souls though we loath and detest their dogmas, and so the breath of our prayers will be sweetened, because we turn our faces towards Christ when we pray.” – Charles Spurgeon




Politically Correct Or Biblically Correct?

biblically correct or politically correct

Politically Correct

Biblically Correct

Tolerance of other religious beliefs is a virtue. Ephesians 5:11 “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.”
Psalms 119:104 “Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way.”
Galatians 1:8 “But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.”.  Tolerating different paths to hell is nothing to be proud of.
No particular religion is better than any other. All are equally valid. John 14:6 “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”
Acts 4:12 “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.”. God does not tailor His salvation program to suit the whims of His creatures.
All people are basically good. Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
Romans 3:10 “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:  11 There is none that  understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.  12 They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.”  If all people were basically good, we would never have to teach children right from wrong.
Homosexuality is just an alternative lifestyle. Anyone who does not think so is homophobic. Leviticus 18:22 “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.”.  AIDS, VD, and suicide are nothing to be “gay” about.
Abortion is a woman’s right that no one else should interfere with. Exodus 20:13 “Thou shalt not kill.”
Proverbs 28:13 “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.”  Other than in wars and in the execution of justice, nobody has a right to destroy human life, be it inside the womb or outside.
Prostitution is a victimless crime. Leviticus 19:29 “Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness.” If prostitution were a victimless crime, no one would ever have to worry about getting a disease, or an unwanted pregnancy nor would people have to worry about being found out.  In addition, prostitution is an insult to the intimacy of the marriage relationship.
Pornography and profanity is protected free speech. Psalms 101:3 “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.”
Proverbs 30:12 “There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.”
Matthew 12:37 “For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”
James 3:8 “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”.  Offending the eyes and ears of other people and of God with ungodly behavior has nothing to do with freedom of speech.
The death penalty is inhumane. Exodus 21:12 “He that smiteth a man, so that he die, shall be surely put to death.” The death penalty is not about being humane to murderers. Its about being obedient to God’s command to provide justice for victims and punishment for criminals.
We have a right to protest against our government. Romans 13:1 “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. 2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.”  Christians are to change the world by prayer and proclamation of the Gospel.  It is time to be more preoccupied with one’s neighbors and less concerned about people you will never have a chance to witness to.
Cloning and medical research of any kind is OK as long as it provides the greatest good to the greatest number. Proverbs 16:25 “There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” It is never OK to create and destroy embryos in an attempt to make somebody else’s life better.
Animals are just as important as people. Genesis 1:26 “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” Animals are NOT created in the image of God. Ironically, many animal-rights activists are pro-abortion.

“Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish” [Luke 13:3]




Just Kidding?

 

“Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour:

for we are members one of another.” [Ephesians 4:25]

 

Introduction

 

The point of this study is to help us to put away all lying, not just some lying, but even the kind of lies that we may not think of as lies. Many of us will agree, now that God has saved us, that so-called “little white lies” are sin and are to be avoided and confessed and repented of when we do tell them. Yet, how often do we use the term “just kidding” after telling a falsehood, a lie – and often with children as our audience. If we were to be honest and more precise, shouldn’t we say “just lying” or “just trying to deceive you for the fun of it”. We prefer not to use the word “lie”. We prefer to use words that soften our sin, so we say that we are “just kidding” or we are “stretching the truth a little”. But one important characteristic of truth is that it neither bends nor stretches. It is immovable and unchangeable.

 

Webster defines the word “kid” as “deceive as a joke” or “to make fun of”. Is this something God’s children should be doing? Is this the kind of behavior that our Redeemer deserves from us? And are we not being hypocrites when we condemn a politician for lying to us (the public) and then we go and do something that is no different in the eyes of God.

 

Does the Bible have anything specific to say about this issue?

 

The Bible has a specific reference to “kidding” in Proverbs chapter 26 (KJV):

 

Proverbs 26:18 – As a mad man who casteth firebrands, arrows, and death, 19 So is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?

 

The Modern King James Version puts it this way:

 

Proverbs 26:18 – or like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death. 19 so is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, Am I not joking.”

 

Young’s Literal Translation says:

 

Proverbs 26:18 – As one pretending to be feeble, Who is casting sparks, arrows, and death, 19 So hath a man deceived his neighbour, And hath said, `Am not I playing?’

 

The point here is that a man is deceiving his neighbor and justifying it by saying he is doing it “in sport”, or “joking” or “playing”.

 

The repercussions of this sin

 

How can deception be OK just because we reveal the deception right away? If I call you someone a horrible name, and then say “I didn’t mean it” does that make the original offense all right? If you shout “fire” in a movie theater and then shout “Just kidding” is that OK? Obviously not… the damage has been done. What damage is done when we “kid around”? Quite a number of things:

  • We violate someone’s trust in us. This is an especially grievous sin when we violate the trust of children, because when it comes time to teach children about God and the Bible, we have destroyed (or at the minimum damaged) our credibility.
  • We perpetrate a lie – we bear false witness against our neighbor, violating one of the 10 commandments.
  • We glorify deception by making a game of it, teaching others by example that this kind of behavior is acceptable and perhaps even pleasing to God.
  • We seek to make a fool of someone, by making them believe us when they should not believe us since we are lying about something.
  • It is important for Christians to be good and godly examples to everyone around them. When we deceive children and others for fun, we set a bad example and in so doing, we can cause others to stumble:

Romans 14:21 – It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.

 

What are we teaching others about honesty, purity, and the value of truth by “kidding around”. It may have been “OK” to our peers when we were unsaved, but is it ever OK to God, especially now that we are saved and now that we are ambassadors for Christ:

 

2 Corinthians 5:20 – Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ’s stead, be ye reconciled to God.

 

What is “kidding” all about?

 

Why do we “kid around”? To glorify God? No. We do it to get attention or to make ourselves popular with others or perhaps simply because we enjoy deceiving others – we actually make a “game” out of it, don’t we? Ever since the fall in the garden of Eden, man has enjoyed trying to make a fool of his brother, when all he is doing is proving that he is the fool, for heaping up wrath upon himself:

 

Romans 2:5 – But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God;

 

Hosea 8:7 – For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind: …

 

To the sinner, and to the flesh, accomplishing our sinful desires is “sweet to our souls”, but it is not glorifying to God.

 

Proverbs 13:19 – The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul: but it is abomination to fools to depart from evil.

 

Believers are to crucify the flesh – to die daily:

 

Galatians 5:24 – And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

1 Corinthians 15:31 – I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.

 

So why do we like to “kid” others?

 

Proverbs 21:6 -The getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a vanity tossed to and fro of them that seek death.

 

The treasure that we get by “kidding” others, is their attention – and we get their attention by a lying tongue, telling them things that are not true but that we know will get a reaction out of them. God describes this kind of talk as foolish talking and jesting:

 

Ephesians 5:3 – But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; 4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. 5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. 7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them. 8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: 9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;

 

We see in verse 4 above that God says this kind of behaviour is not to be taken lightly. He says it should not even occur ONCE among us. God’s children, like the psalmist declares, should hate every false way, and one of those false ways includes “kidding”:

 

Psalms 119:104 – Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way.

 

And in Ephesians 5:9 above we see that we are to cultivate “truth” along with the other fruits of the Spirit.

 

How to break this habit

 

1. Confess sin –

If we make a habit of confessing our sins one to another and to the Lord, right away, we will find ourselves having greater sensitivity to sin. Overlooking our faults can cause us to become numb to sin. When we realize that we are “kidding” others and that it is wrong to do so, an appropriate response would be to say something like: “I’m sorry. That statement I just made is a lie. I should not have said that. Please forgive me.”

 

James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

 

2. Be in the Word –

As with any other sins that we truly wish to repent of, we need to hide God’s word in our hearts that we would not sin against him. (Psalm 119:11)

 

Exodus 20:16 – Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

 

Leviticus 19:11 – Ye shall not steal, neither deal falsely, neither lie one to another.

 

Psalms 26:3 – For thy lovingkindness is before mine eyes: and I have walked in thy truth.

 

Psalms 86:11 – Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name.

 

Psalms 119:29 – Remove from me the way of lying: and grant me thy law graciously.

 

Psalms 119:30 – I have chosen the way of truth: thy judgments have I laid before me.

 

Proverbs 3:3 – Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart

 

Proverbs 8:7 – For my mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.

 

Proverbs 12:17 – He that speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit.

 

Proverbs 12:22 – Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.

 

Proverbs 14:5 – A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies.

 

Proverbs 14:9 – Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favour.

 

Isaiah 38:3 – And said, Remember now, O LORD, I beseech thee, how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight. And Hezekiah wept sore.

 

Isaiah 63:8 – For he said, Surely they are my people, children that will not lie: so he was their Saviour.

 

Jeremiah 9:5 – And they will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth: they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity.

 

Zechariah 8:16 – These are the things that ye shall do; Speak ye every man the truth to his neighbour; execute the judgment of truth and peace in your gates

 

John 8:44 – Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

 

Acts 5:3 – But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land? 4 Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.

 

James 3:8 – But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

3 John 1:3 – For I rejoiced greatly, when the brethren came and testified of the truth that is in thee, even as thou walkest in the truth. 4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

 

Revelation 21:8 – But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

 

Revelation 22:15 – For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

 

Other little foxes we may be overlooking in our lives

 

And as God says in Song of Solomon 2:15, it is “the little foxes, that spoil the vines”. Little sins lead to other more gross sins, so we dare not wait until we are telling gross lies before we start caring about truthfulness. Some of these besetting sins that can cause others to stumble and can lead to other sins include:

  • slander
  • gossip
  • minced oaths
  • unforgiveness
  • disrespect
  • pride – too proud to admit we are wrong – too proud to give credit to God instead of ourselves when complemented
  • unthankfulness – to God and others
  • unattentiveness – ignoring others because we are too busy (too selfish to share our time)
  • cheating our boss out of time at work
  • speeding and violating other traffic laws or just being discourteous behind the wheel
  • justifying sinful actions instead of admitting them and repenting of them
  • participating in sinful conversations/activities when we should be preaching against such behavior
  • making excuses for not praying, studying the Bible, ministering to others, and sharing the Gospel or just letting other things get in the way of these things

Conclusion

 

Let us keep each other honest and let us act as if we really care about the truth and really care about being obedient to God…

 

Hebrews 10:24 – And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works

Colossians 3:9 – Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds

 





The Gospel According To J.D.

An Example Of A Subtle False Works Gospel

 

“They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.” [1John 2:19]

 

An acquaintance of mine, whom I will refer to as J.D., has made an astounding transition for someone who seemed to possess true salvation for many years… After many years in reformed protestant churches he is no longer content with their doctrinal stands on many important issues and is now checking out churches that he should know – if he is a true twice-born believer – are apostate.  He seems convinced that he will be happy if only he can find a visible ecclesiastical “institution” that he feels God has entrusted the truth to for the past two millenia.  I guess J.D. never read Luke 17:21:

 

“Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.”

 

My point being that the true Church (with a capital C) is a collection of Spirit-born believers.  No major sect or denomination can rightly claim that it is the one true Church.  Oh sure, they can lie and boast about anything they wish, but their pronouncements do not create truth.

 

After “investigating” the Eastern Orthodox church, this poor soul (J.D.) is now looking at the Lutheran church to see if they just might be that one “true” preserved Church that is alluded to in Matthew 16:18.  After J.D. expressed his belief to me in the unbiblical doctrine of transubstantiation (with its implications that a piece of bread can become Christ, the eternal god-man), he is now looking to make himself at home in a church that believes in an equally unbiblical doctrine – consubstantiation.  Of course belief in these manmade dogmas (heresies no less) is a prerequisite to even considering any one of the associated institutions to be that elusive preserved ecclesiastical body.

 

But let us get back to the subtle false works gospel we wish to investigate here.   If you examine something about the doctrine of salvation that J.D. wrote, you can see some terminology that points to a very subtle works gospel that I have seen elsewhere online and offline. Here is that terminology summed up by someone else (not J.D.) who wrote their own erroneous article about salvation which I am referring to first, to show that others use this same terminology and have the same incorrect understanding of biblical faith:

 

“When someone trusts in their own deeds or a ceremony, such as baptism, they will not be saved because they have not used the conduit” that God has given.” (http://www.letusreason.org/OCC4.htm) – anonymous author at “Let Us Reason Ministries”, a ministry that believes in “decisional regeneration” as deduced from their description of how to recieve the free gift of salvation at this web page: http://www.letusreason.org/saving%20grace.htm.

 

This false doctrine brings in special terminology (like the word “conduit” used above) to give itself credibility based on the use of words that are either ambiguous, yet reasonable sounding, or words that can have multiple meanings. Here is J.D.’s blog posting on this “conduit” idea with my emphasis added:

 

There is only one means of atoning for sin, and that is the blood of Christ. Faith is like a hand that receives that blood and all its benefits, but the hand itself does not do any saving. Faith cannot appease God’s wrath for sin. Only the blood of Christ can do that. It’s the difference between a cause and an agent. To use an analogy, if you are underwater and breathe air through a straw, what is the thing your body needs to remain alive—the air or the straw? It needs the air. It needs the straw, too, but only as an agent through which the air is breathed in. The straw, in and of itself, cannot directly keep your body alive because the straw does not keep your lungs going. It is the air coming through the straw that does that. If you were in outer space and you had a hose to connect you to an oxygen tank, but the tank were floating out of reach of the hose, trying to breathe through the hose would do you no good at all. It’s similar when we talk of faith and the blood of Christ. Faith—like the straw and the hose—is the conduit through which the benefits of Christ’s saving blood come to us, but that precious blood—like the air—is what actually saves.” – J.D.

 

This as you know may know, is where the cults and the blind leaders have some true believers scratching their heads…. because those wolves in sheep’s clothing mean one thing with their words and we think they are inferring something else entirely. The buzz words in the above problematic paragraph are faith, agent and conduit and perhaps even the word “benefits”. What do they mean to the writer and what do they mean to the reader? Often they mean two different things.

 

And so here is that crack I mentioned above:

 

Faith is not some “conduit” as inferred by its use above. You can say it is a conduit but it is not. It does not mean that, not in the dictionary and not in the Bible, and no, not in the original Greek either.  The word for faith, as used in Ephesians 2:8 for example is the Greek word pistis, which does not mean conduit nor does its usage in Ephesian 2:8 and elsewhere in any way imply that we are saved through our ability to utilize something be it our faith or our ability to utilize some spiritual conduit, etc. Faith does mean to trust, and to trust in the completed work of Christ – which is what this verse is referring to.  And that ability to trust Christ is something that only regenerated souls can do, and they do it through the Holy Spirit, not through their own strength or through their own ability to grab onto something…

 

“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God” [Romans 8:16]

 

In the realm of the Bible and true Christianity, faith is a trait or characteristic of a believer, not a mechanism (like a stretched out hand or like a straw) for acquiring something. Faith is the “ability” to trust Christ and to believe and understand the Gospel – an ability that the spiritually dead do not and cannot possess. This faith – this ability to trust/believe/understand Christ and His gospel – is a gift of God granted – by God – at salvation. That faith – which we possess upon regeneration – is not “like a hand that receives the blood and all its benefits”.

 

Many unbelievers don’t get this. They look at Ephesians 2:8 which states that “we are saved by grace through faith” and think “Oh, I just need to have enough faith, and my faith, is the “conduit” God will then use to save me. I just need to believe the gospel.” – whatever “believing the gospel” means to a spiritually dead sinner… like “believe whatever that evangelist just said even if I believe one thing and he meant quite another thing.” …. Sadly, what this means in many instances is that a person thinks he is saved because he believed something, not because God truly regenerated him.

 

The word “conduit” when defined in its normal sense… is a device or mechanism like a pipe, by which something is transferred from point A to point B. The mechanism (or “conduit” if you will) by which a sinner knows and trusts God (by which he is able to possess “faith” – this attribute of a truly converted believer) is the Holy Spirit not some sinner’s ability to do something or hold onto something or reach out for something. It is Christ in you. Those who do not possess the Spirit often see themselves (or “their” faith) as the conduit (or as the “agent”) and not the Holy Spirit.

 

People who think that they need to participate in their salvation will confuse faith for some kind of mechanism employed by a sinner.  We who are genuine Christians need to question the salvation of those who hold to this belief.  As I read someone else’s description of the gospel written up here: http://www.abideinchrist.com/selah/dec4.html I got the impression that that is the gospel that J.D. subscribes to. I saw some of the same buzzwords and same ideology.

 

Dear reader, I hope and pray that if you subscribe to the kind of salvation that depends in any way on something that you, the sinner do, did or or will do, then I urge you to set aside your works, your filthy rags as the Bible describes them, and trust solely in the completed work of Christ at the cross.

 

“Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost.”
[Titus 3:5]

 





The Scars Of Divorce

(A child’s testimony about her parent’s divorce)

 

“Please, please don’t sign them! Oh, Daddy, don’t sign those papers!” My pleadings must have added greatly to my father’s burden, but the pen held firmly in his hand continued to write his name on the final papers.

 

Thus was my world destroyed and I with it, for on that day something died in the heart of a child. A child? In years, yes, but the child pleading in the divorce court that day would never again be a carefree little girl, for now my mommy and daddy were divorced. It was a big word and a hateful one. What it meant to grownups I did not know, but what it meant to me is a story that can never be told.

 

Right now it meant that the home we had known existed no longer. To us children our home was our world, with both Mother and Daddy essential parts of it. But that world had suddenly crumbled. Like a storm that strikes suddenly and leaves you to pick up the pieces, so life had suddenly turned our home inside out and upside down. Much of the shock lay in the fact that the ones destroying it were the two who had been our very security and life.

 

From now on the family must be divided. I was told to choose between my mother and father. I could not have both, though I loved both and wanted them, both of them, to love me. Each was so necessary to me; how could I turn my back on one and say I wanted the other more?

 

I remembered nights when I was sick and my mother kept vigil; how she had fed me and tended to my needs. Surely she loved me! When things troubled me, I had always gone to her, and her explanations had banished childish fears. I had great faith in my mother. How could I doubt my father’s love or the close place I had In his heart. Often my brothers had sent me to Dad when they wanted some favor, knowing he seldom refused me Perhaps I had this special place with Daddy because I was so like him and we understood each other so well. I had deep respect for my father, but how could I compare it with what I felt for my mother? And how could I make a decision that would separate me from either?

 

This was the down payment in the price of divorce, and the children had to pay. To parents who still count the cost, I plead the cause of your children! If you subject them to the agony of choosing between the parents they love, something wonderful will have to die in their hearts during the unnatural struggle that that choice entails.

 

Years have passed, but I still shudder at the memory of the day I left our home with my mother. Daddy cried like a child, and then he just stood and stared into space. I have wondered what went through his mind then. He had worked so hard to do right by his family, and now all he had built was gone. Was part of his grief due to the fact that missing from the circle of his motherless children was his only daughter? Was he thinking of what might have been?

 

In my mind there is no doubt of what might have been. Theirs could have been a successful marriage had they determined to keep the home intact; had both, or even one, been willing to sacrifice personal feelings.

 

As far back as my memory goes, I remember my parent quarreling. Like all quarrels, these were born of selfishness and stubbornness, with neither willing to give in to the other. Foolish advice was, “Separate if you can’t get along; it will be better for the children,” Was it better to crush six young hearts than for one or two to bear small hurts? Was it better the blow should fall on six lives, young and tender, not old enough to know why they must be separated from one another?

 

Bitter protests and tears were vain, for divorce courts do not consider human hearts when they collect their dues. Mother and Daddy were to be “free,” but we children were not. I became a slave to despair. The quarrels? They ceased, to be sure, but cries of heartbroken children took their place, and I, for one, longed to hear those quarrels if only it meant that I could have my mother and father back!

 

This story is my own. The plea I make is that of my own heart, though my brothers, too, could write their stories, and neighbors in our small town could add to it. Perhaps it is just a familiar story. Daddy was too busy to do the little, things that count so much and had to neglect his six-and eight-year-old boys. My little brother longed for his mother, but his loss and grief was expressed in meanness. He became a problem child in school. My teenage brothers became involved with the law to the extent that they spent a night in jail. I realized even then that this, too, was part of the price, of divorce that the children pay. Perhaps a girl needs her mother even more than does a boy. I seemed to be cut the deepest and to suffer the most. The shock of that day in court was indelibly printed on my memory, but I had only begun to taste the bitter portion dealt to a child of divorced parents.

 

With Daddy thrust out of my life and my brothers gone, my heart fastened more tenaciously than ever on mother. Therefore, words cannot express the shock that was mine when I found her in the arms of another man. In that instant I knew utter desolation. I had lost my father; now my mother no longer belonged to me! Another man – a stranger to me – had taken her, and this discovery completely changed and embittered my life.

 

Emotions that had been sealed within me now broke forth in endless weeping. Bitterness enveloped me like a cloud, and resentment made it impossible for me to speak peaceably to Mother. In back of confused emotions was the resolve that no one else should have her; she belonged to me and to Daddy! I became crazed with the idea that I must win her from the one who I felt now was the cause of my sorrow.

 

A showdown had to come. One day I found Mother and her boyfriend with other friends in the front yard. Blind despair and a lingering hope gripped me, and for me that gathering became a court session, with a child as prosecuting attorney and the neighbors as jurors. The desperation that filled my heart poured out our need of Daddy, our need of the home we had left, “oh, please, Mommy, et us go back and be happy!”

 

Artists may paint human suffering, but neither artist’s brush nor writer’s pen can recapture the horror of the moment when a child realizes he has lost the battle for his mother’s love, One day she had been my mother; the next, she was a stranger whose only feeling seemed to be displeasure at the scene her unreasonable child was causing. Neighbors pitied and tried to comfort, but their words did not reach me. I knew only departed hope, I had failed, and no failure had ever involved so much.

 

I may have been in a state of shock as I found my way back to the old home. A few weeks before I had been in this home, a happy, confident child, but as I entered the familiar yard there was no joy in my heart, no anticipation or eagerness. Daddy met me at the door and seemed thankful that I had returned, but he found, to his sorrow, that it was not the same little girl who had come back. Shock and grief caused youth to flee, and with it had gone laughter and joy.

 

He tried, but he was not able to save me from the depths of despair to which I sank. I wept until tears no longer came. Many pitied me, but there was no healing for my wounded I heart. When we heard that mother remarried, great bitterness possessed me. Grief had so eaten away at my life that I became hard and rebellious. The faith that my mother had destroyed caused me to lose confidence in everyone, even my father, and I felt that everyone was against me. Nothing mattered anymore. When Daddy corrected me, I thought that he to had turned against me, and I rebelled under his authority.

 

I left him and stayed with anyone who would have me. Later, harsh circumstances compelled me go back to my mother and her husband. I must have been a shadow of the past to them, and I lived with stinging reality that I was not wanted. Yet every fiber of my being craved to be loved. Violent arguments, a war of hate, began between me and the intruder. Strain began to show on Mother’s face, and in my misery I found secret consolation in the fact. My strained emotions became a physical illness, for the human system can be overtaxed just so long before something breaks. Clouds of gloom settled over me; nightmares caused me to run through the house. I suffered cruelly, and being alone most of the time, I actually developed a fear of people. I succumbed completely to shattered nerves.

 

I wish I could take the hand of every parent harboring the thought of divorce and lead him back with me into the valley through which I have come. If the hurt an innocent child’s heart, the bitter shock of a tender life, the tears of the unwanted, misplaced child, and the horror and gloom could be called to witness in the divorce courts, no child would again have to walk the dreadful I road that starts with the signing of those final papers in the divorce courts. Instead, the tears would become the parent’s own, and in the valley he would realize that the ones who suffer in divorce and remarriage are the innocent children.

 

Thank God, in my struggles through that darkness I met the Saviour and slowly, very slowly, began to live again. Since that time I have married and at one time it seemed that I would fail as my parents had. But through sacrifice and love I was able to prove that marriage can be made to last. My wonderful husband and lovely children are my reward after having, as Job did, drunk scourging like water.

 

Many will say, “But my case is different.” I contend that every marriage can be made to last if either husband or wife will fight to that end. Mine did not succeed overnight but every effort proved worthwhile, for through sacrifice of my own feelings I brought out qualities in my husband that I had not know existed. God alone knows the joys I now reap from very battle I fought with myself instead of with my husband. I learned to give when I would rather take, to smile when my heart rebelled, and to hold my peace and let God speak for me. But it was worth all it cost when compared with the reward: one of the most happy marriages in the world. From experience I know divorce is not the answer; sacrifice is. You who contemplate divorce, I beg of you, remember me. Hold that child of yours in your arms more closely, and in pity spare him that which I have had to endure and can never forget.  – A Wounded Heart